What If I Don’t Enjoy My Family?
By Thom Black
Janet wasn’t happy. In fact, she was quite depressed.
"I don’t like my family. Rather, I hate all the demands everyone puts on me. Whether it’s carpooling or playing on the floor with the kids or whatever–I’ll go crazy if it doesn’t change soon. I don’t have time for me anymore. I’m going nuts."
Sorry, Janet. Life isn’t going to change soon. In fact, it’s not going to change at all. The reality of family and the complexity of managing these valuable relationships stay with us for a lifetime. Along the way, it’s easy for any of us to want to pull our hair out, wondering how anyone lives through it all.
What is important is that Janet never loses hope that she can find great joy, even among trying family circumstances.
There Is a Reason for You
Despite what she may feel, Janet is bigger than her family and all its relationships. Janet is a complex and precious individual. She has been designed with careful intent to do wonderfully unique things throughout this lifetime and beyond. While it is easy for her to wonder whether anyone is noticing today’s drudgery, she needs to be assured that she is making a difference.
Much of What Is Required Has Little to Do With What You Do
It wouldn’t be surprising to find that had Janet known beforehand what would be required from her family, she may have thought twice about saying "I do" and bearing children. So much of what others expect of her are things she doesn’t enjoy doing. For Janet, life loses its appeal when it gets predictable and routine. Sure, she loves the people involved, but she needs more adventure than what her family can give.
Hang in there, Janet. We know your family responsibilities can be quite burdensome. Know that you aren’t expected to be brilliant at everything. Most of what you are required to do comes at great expense of your energy. Don’t expect to receive any particular fulfillment. Instead, be content with knowing that you are raising tomorrow’s generation and that you are fulfilling your responsibility.
Learn What to Do With the Responses of Others
The fact is, many will judge you on the very things you don’t enjoy doing. They will be critical in that what you do out of love and duty could have been done better. As much as those barbs hurt you, know in your quiet moments that you exist for even larger purposes than these and that someday, maybe those who are closest to you will understand you in a far deeper way.
Work Is a Four-Letter Word Spelled P-L-A-Y
Where does Janet find her greatest moments of joy? In her play. Janet, you need to find opportunities to do something that you enjoy doing and can do well. You see, at the end of the day (to the surprise of many), after you have fulfilled the many responsibilities of family, what remains for you that has everlasting value will be those things you did out of enthusiasm and joy.
You can enjoy this season of family, Janet. The secret has been within you all along.
|
