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If all is fair in love and war (as the adage says) it will not surprise you to learn that, the strategic advantage created by the element of “surprise” in waging war is equally powerful in waging romance. The most ardent of lovers among us occasionally falls into a rut. So break free and try a couple of these surprises this week:

• Put your affection in writing: Make a simple acrostic of your lover’s name, Use each letter of the first name as the beginning of a word or phrase which describes an endearing quality. Tape it to the bathroom mirror or to the steering wheel of his or her car.

• As in the finest hotels, turn down the bed tonight: On the way home buy a couple of mints or truffles, write “Sweet Dreams” on a small note card (the back of your business card will work), then sneak into the bedroom about mid-evening, turn down the bed, fluff the pillows and leave the note propped against the sweets for your your sweetheart to discover.

• Next time you come through the front door, excitedly call out your sweetheart’s name as you rush to find him or her. Say “Guess what? . . . G-u-e-s-s what!” And in response to his or her puzzled look, exclaim: “I’ve been thinking about this most of the day, You really are the most wonderful person I have ever met. I am so very lucky to be loved by you. Please don’t ever stop. I never will.”

Now, if these three simple activities would not truly surprise your lover, then you are already a raving romantic…Congratulations!

Insight: Romantic surprises usually impact women more than men, because they view loving through more emotionally colored lenses than guys do. Women think in terms of feeling loved. Men think more in terms of what to do to be “romantic.” That’s why men usually need and accept the idea of being coached about being romantic. Such an idea rarely crosses a woman’s mind. Of course all this is more pronounced in some individuals than others, but it’s one of the differences between the sexes. “Viva la difference!”